Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
