After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize