if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
