Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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