if you like me you must not know who I am
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I need moral support for this bender
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
