Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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