there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got inside last night via doggy door
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
