By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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