if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
