I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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