Your face is a jimmy john
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i out mim tonsoeep
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