we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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