I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
