carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
