Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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