I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
