the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
