why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This is the high leading the old right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
