dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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