We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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