she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
