is your mom at the bar?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
