Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
