i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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