Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
