"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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