That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did I show you my penis last night?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
