I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize