Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize