sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
