marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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