I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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