Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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