Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Still dying that you shit outside
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
