my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
