does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
