He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
