Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize