we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
