just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
honey bunches of taint.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
