he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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