If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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