he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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