Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
