At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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