yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
