wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
