we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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