New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize