we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
