ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
