Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
