My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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