Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
