We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
