it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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