the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
