im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
