it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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