careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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