I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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