Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
