I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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