@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
