what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
