i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
